Audra White

Audra White, a professional photographer and mother of 3 beautiful children, two here on earth and one in Heaven, is also a step-mom to 3 wonderful adult children, Joel, Jessy & Brandon, and step-grandma to two precious baby girls, Lily and Bobbie Mae.  Audra’s firstborn son, Zane, ascended to Heaven on March 10, 2000, suddenly and unexpectedly.  At 3 months and 10 days, just 5 days after Audra went back to work after maternity leave, Zane’s life was cut short when a child care provider “allegedly” gave him codeine in an Infant's Tylenol bottle to quiet him.  Nothing could ever be proven, the murder case was never solved, and no one was ever arrested.  The finger was being pointed back at Audra by the childcare provider, so the police said "it is her word against yours."  Audra endured heart-wrenching accusatory interrogation while grieving the terrible and tragic loss of her precious little boy.  The nightmare never seemed to have an end…. And so it doesn’t, because grief is a life-long journey.

The devastation left her feeling totally alone, as if the entire world was moving on and Audra was just standing still while it rotated around her with people buzzing around as if nothing horrible had ever happened.  It was isolating, but a compassionate woman named Joanne Cacciatore invited her to a Support Group Meeting called MISS, and eventually that feeling began to slowly melt away. Keeping in contact with her MISS connections in Phoenix, leaning on her faith, and the promise of seeing him again one day, helped the healing to settle in.

The MISS Foundation was there for her when she needed it most.   After her second son, Levi, was born, Audra’s career was put aside. She was never leaving him with anyone, ever.   Once the lie detector ordeal was over, and all the hopes of someone being held accountable were all but gone, the family decided to move away to California.  Two and half years later, the family was blessed with Cheyenne, their third precious gift.   Almost three years later, the family moved back to Arizona, this time, Tucson, where Audra’s parents live.  With the help of her parents, Audra slowly started working again, building up a clientele.  

One day, she was thumbing through a Professional Photographer Magazine, and saw an ad for Now I Lay Me Down To Sleep, a non-profit organization that recruits professional photographers to do remembrance photography for babies that pass at birth.  Her jaw dropped, because ever since she first met other bereaved moms at her first MISS meeting, she knew there was a need for a service like this.

Once she became an affiliated photographer for NILMDTS, she met other bereaved parents and told them how a MISS support group helped her.  She contacted MISS, and found out there was a Tucson Hope Mentor named Tracy McAdams, but no support group.  With the help of Tracy and another bereaved Mom she had met through her children’s school, they started a MISS Chapter in Tucson in September, 2008, over eight years after Zane ascended.  They continue to meet every 4th Tuesday of the month.

Audra’s favorite quote:  “There is no foot too small that it cannot leave an imprint on this world.”  Author unknown.  

The White Family, Christmas 2013

Tracy McAdams

Bio and photo coming soon!  

I Carry Your Heart With Me            

I carry your heart with me (I carry it in
my heart) I am never without it (anywhere
I go you go, my dear; and whatever is done
by only me is your doing, my darling)
 I fear no fate (for you are my fate, my sweet) I want
no world (for beautiful you are my world, my true)
and it's you are whatever a moon has always meant
 and whatever a sun will always sing is you

here is the deepest secret nobody knows
(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud           
and the sky of the sky of a tree called life; which grows                                         Artwork: CarlyMarie    
higher than the soul can hope or mind can hide)
and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart

I carry your heart (I carry it in my heart)

E.E. Cummings